Why are we dying?

     I was hobbling about in my apartment earlier today.. watching a special
on TV.  It was called, "Enough is Enough."  It's one of the series this one
guy has given to Pacific Northwest areas regarding drugs and such.  As I was
watching it.. I was hit by an idea for a topic to type on.  This is gonna be
the topic.
     Have you ever seen someone lying along the side of the road?  Or in a
gutter?  Or perhaps just sitting there with one of those signs saying
they're homeless and need food?  I know I have.  They often catch my
attention.  And although I don't always help them, I do try to rather often.
Problem is, there are so many people who need help out there that we can't
begin to make a dent.  Well.. that's not quite true -- one person can't do
much.. but they can do something.  I find myself being reminded of the story
of the man who found thousands of starfish along a beach.. and was
determined to make an effort to throw them back in.  Another man happened by
and asked him why he was bothering -- after all.. there were so many.. what
good could he really do?  The man hefted another starfish into the water and
said, "It made a difference to that one."
     Yet what about the ones who don't get help?  

     I know that there is so much we as Christians can do to help the
world.. there are always areas where we can love others.. and do good for
the lost masses.. who are stumbling around misled.. confused about life..
wondering why they bother continuing on from day to day.. wondering if it's
really worth another day of pain to keep going.  I, myself, have considered
what it would be like if I ended this life of mine.. too often in fact..
wondering if it would be better if I did..  Luckily for me, I have the fear
of Hell in me.. which is really the fear of God.. or I would've done it a
long time ago -- that and my fear of pain have kept me from doing something
I would regret for eternity.
     I hope this essay doesn't just bumble along like I seem to think it
is doing.. I just can't get the thought of something off my mind.  
     I was in my normal net-hangout the other night.. a Christian IRC
channel.. when someone came in who I felt was going to attack the channel.
First off.. it seems he was into sending private messages to a few of the
ppl on the channel which were rather lewd and gross.. as well as asking for
channel control.. (known as "ops").. then he started swearing and pretending
he was the anti-christ.  He was basically immediately banned from the
channel.  I can remember what one of the ops said -- "He'll be let back on..
but he needs to learn to respect Christian channels."  
     (*sigh*)  I keep thinking.. "why would he want to bother?  We don't
really care about him.. we want him to come on our terms.. *then* we'll care
about him."  And, "What would make him *want* to respect a Christian
channel?  It's clear that he thinks we hate him.. or that he thinks God
hates him.. or he wouldn't be attacking us like he did."  
     I keep going over and over this.. but few seem to listen.. and when
they listen.. they still want their comfortable channel to have as a place
to reside.  They seem to forget that comfort runs 2nd to our mission -- the
mission of showing Christ's love to the world.  I know I fall short in this
area too.. but I at least work very hard to love those who persecute me..
for that is what Jesus has called us to do... isn't it?
     Why is everyone so disgusted with Christian channels?  It's really
pretty simple.. they are there for their own end.. not for Christ's.  They
are there to provide a stable, comfortable environment to raise their young
in.. and to chat.. and not to minister to those who most need it -- the
attackers.  
     I know that many who read this will probably think I have no right to
say what I am -- that Christians have every right to stand up for themselves
and to have peaceful areas to gather and relate.  But we need to realize
something -- we are not to put down our harvesting tools simply to relate
with those whom God has already received.  We need to be ever-ready to
witness the truth to the souls of those who approach us.. not being so
"comfort-driven" that we push away those who most need us.
     I hate it each and every time a soul gets banned for acting up in a
Christian channel.  According to Paul in 1 Corinthians 5.. we are to only
administer judgement -- that is, administer chastening -- to those who are
of Christ.. and we are to turn the other cheek with those who are not yet
His.  
     But how many cheeks are too many?  I don't know where all the
Christians in the world stand on this question.. but I would hazard a guess
that it's far too few.  I, myself, do not believe that we, as Christians,
ever run out of cheeks to turn.  We are to love those who attack us with our
dying breath.  
     But.. but.. what about society's sanctions?  I mean.. really.. doesn't
society allow us to stand up for ourselves.. and each other?  I heard from a
pastor once that it's much like a restaurant in the area which is run by
Christians -- they don't have to serve anyone who disrupts the place.. their
purpose is to give a good atmosphere to those who choose to dine in peace..
and part of providing that atmosphere is removing any elements that disrupt
that peace.  And although this seems like a good way of doing things.. and
completely right in God's eyes.. I truly wonder if this is what Jesus would
have us do.
     You see.. Jesus tells us in Matthew 5 that we are not to resist an
evildoer -- but we are to turn the other cheek.  Now.. I don't see where
Jesus ever said that we have to turn the other cheek ourselves, but we have
every right to step in and stop our brother from having to turn the other
cheek -- yet this is what that same pastor told me.  That in settings such
as a church.. or a restaurant.. those in charge have to maintain the peace
of the atmosphere.. the "order" as it were.. (citing Biblical precedent to
keep the order of a congregation).. and in order to do so, they need to
dissolve Jesus' stipulation of turning the other cheek.  They are now God's
given "deliverers of wrath".. and are to discipline those who are in
disobedience to God's design.
     So where does this leave us?  Are those in charge truly given the right
to discipline nonbelievers.. even though Paul tells us not to?  I honestly
don't have all the answers to this question -- and I know for a fact that if
I choose to stand on the notion that we must always turn the other cheek
that virtually every pastor in the world would side against me.  They would
quote this and that about order and government.. and how we as a church are
part of the world and have every right to operate by the sanctions of the
government we are under.  Yet where does mercy come in?
     My whole reason for writing this hit me as I was watching that TV show.
I kept thinking.. "Why is it that so many of us get involved in drugs and
sex and tons of other practices we think will give us fulfilment..?"  I'll
tell you why.  Most of the time.. it's because we are lacking the one thing
we need most of all -- true love.  Now.. I won't say that all cases of drug
abuse and other idol-worship are the fault of those around the worshipper..
far from it.. but.. I will say.. that we could do far more to affect change
in these hurting people than we ever dare to do.  Many people these days
have not received anywhere near the love they needed as children.. anywhere
near the support they needed to grow up and become healthy adults.  And it's
no wonder.. as we have become such a "feeling-oriented" culture.. focussed
on trying to get our love as a "feeling".. and not as support.  One thing
that caught me from this TV show was how this one friend of the person
giving the talk.. had gone through tons of junk due to his drug addictions..
and had wished that his father had been as hard on him as the father of the
talker had been.  For we know that strictness is often a show of love more
than a show of hate.. It is a willingness to let the child know the
boundaries that the parent will tolerate.. and show them what is truly good
and truly going to cause them trouble.  The problem is.. we, as Christians,
feel we have the right now to discipline anyone who comes to our channel and
disrupts the "peaceful atmosphere" that we have established.  We realize
that strictness is good.. and firmness of channel policy is good.. but we
forget that we are called to turn the other cheek unto death.  We forget
that even if we were all to suffer great wounds.. if the person, through our
willingness to love them and take the wounds.. letting them attack as much
as they desire.. if we even die.. if afterwards.. they come to Christ.. it
was worth it.  After all.. Christ suffered far more than we ever will.. so
no one can begin to say that his wounds were too much to bring even one new
believer into the family.  I mean.. is it true or is it false that Christ
would've died for even one of us?  If it's true.. shouldn't we be willing to
do the same?
     Well.. anyway.. as you can gather from the above paragraph.. many
people grow up without the love they need to believe themselves worthwhile
people.. they not only hurt inside.. but are angry that they are not treated
as something that is worthwhile.. and often.. they lash out at anyone who
tries to treat them as loving because they are projecting the hatred they
have for those who tried to love them (as parents, friends, etc.) onto these
"new loving people".  I have often found that one of the most popular
reactions to a loving heart is an attempt to push it away.  When you have
been hurt a lot.. or shuffed off by those who are supposed to love you..
such as parents.. or a spouse.. or whomever.. then you develop an instinct
of futility -- which says to you constantly, "They're just going to leave
you.. they don't care.. they're full of it.. they are only doing this to get
something out of you.. they don't really love you.."  and so you try and
prove it by throwing everything you have at those who try to love you.. for
the purpose of showing that they, in fact, never cared.. because they
eventually leave.
     Now I'm not going to say that what the people in pain are doing is the
best method for finding people to love them.. in fact.. it'll push many
away.. but I am saying it's a fact of life.. and that many are going to act
that way.. and many of them are looking for people who will stay at their
side no matter how much they hurt them.  I know that part of my respect for
God comes from the fact that even though I've lashed out at Him a few
times.. He hasn't gotten rid of me.. as well as the fact that even though
I've "sinned against Him".. in effect "wronged Him".. many many many times..
He hasn't gotten rid of me.  He cares still.. and He loves me still.  I have
needed to see that sort of love to get me out of my continued idea that
everyone's going to hate me.  I still have a ways to go.. but God doesn't
seem ready to quit yet.  And neither will I if someone attacks me.  I will
do my best to love them unto my death.. for that's what Jesus did for me.
Though I were His very slayer.. He loved me.